The Justin Bieber Workout

Let's be honest-- if you're reading this, you're not looking for Justin Bieber's workout routine.  You're one of his many female fans just wanting to see pictures of Justin Bieber working out.  But, for the sake of the article title, here's the Justin Bieber workout for the Justin Bieber obsessed:

First, you need to stretch.  I know this might seem difficult, but stand up from your couch or computer chair and stretch.  This will be the first stretch you've had in days.  We all know that you won't be getting up again unless it's to get his new CD, "Never Ever Say Never Again, Ever Unplugged Acoustic Part II".


Shoulder Workouts


Those hundreds of Justin Bieber posters and magazine clipouts aren't going to tape themselves up on your wall, are they?!  If you're going to spend hundreds of hours putting those pics up on your wall, you need to have strong shoulders that can handle the load!  Work those shoulders and delts!  This also serves a double purpose for when you hold up those inappropriate signs at his concert, confessing things to him that teenage girls should never say-- especially in the form of bright markers at a concert.


Wrist Curls


Wrist curls?  Why?  Simple.  You probably have Twitter open in the background, following @justinbieber and waiting on his next tweet.  Beyond the hundreds of tweets of yours that say "Please follow me back @justinbieber!" to "Listening to @justinbieber", you need to keep those wrists strong.  The last thing you need is carpal tunnel when Justin Bieber comes to your house to confess his undying love for you and you can't even open the door from sore wrists because of those late night Twitter rampages.

Voice Workouts

When Justin Bieber is within 50 miles of your hometown, you're going to freak.  Let's be honest, those vocal cords are going to get some work over the next few years that he's still a relevant pop star.  To strengthen those vocal cords, scream at the top of your lungs into a paper bag over and over.

Great, now that you've established a healthy workout routine as a Justin Bieber fan, you can go ahead and get back to retweeting every single thing he says on Twitter, checking his Facebook status, and listening to all of his fan's music remakes on Youtube.

This article is a parody and is in no way to be taken as sound workout advice by anyone, anywhere, ever.  Please seek a physician's advice before closing your laptop and attempting anything beyond going to the fridge for more ice-cream.



2 comments:

  1. LOL THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ME!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow this is hilarious! Beliebers are one of a kind lol

    ReplyDelete